It doesn’t sound important enough. 

It sounds trite.  It sounds like something you would do if you could, like kind of a luxury.  And who has the time these days to just hang out and relax?

But “relaxation” is not a luxury.  It is the difference between existing and thriving.  It is the difference between just getting through your infertility experience and moving forward with more clarity, confidence, and peace.

Let’s back up and talk about what relaxation really is and why it’s so important.  

This rather overused word is actually referring to the function of part of your nervous system.  This part is called your Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), or more specifically, the Parasympathetic branch of your Autonomic Nervous System.  (Keep reading!  I promise the technical stuff will be over soon, and it’s SO important for you to understand this part of your body.)  

Your Autonomic Nervous System is the part that controls lots of functions in your body that you don’t have to think about, like breathing and digestion and sleeping and heart rate and blood pressure.  It all happens automatically.  Autonomic, Automatic.  Sounds simple right?  So what’s the problem?  

The problem is the OTHER branch of your Autonomic Nervous system called the Sympathetic branch, also known as Fight or Flight.  This is the part that prepares you to run away from the bear in your path.  It speeds up your heart rate and breathing rate and takes the blood out to your limbs so that you can run fast.  And this wouldn’t be a problem either if we were cavemen and women actually running away from bears.  But we are not.

In the modern world, this Sympathetic part of our nervous system is triggered by lots of things on any given day: a driver honking at us, a huge bill, an argument with our partner, too many emails, an impending deadline, some technical thing that stops working.  You know what I am talking about.  This is life in the modern world.  And this is life with a Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) that is always being triggered.  This is what makes it hard to “relax”.

But here’s the good news! 

You can train your PNS to be more active!  

Your body will begin to shift into a parasympathetic state after only 3 deep breaths.  And many of the techniques and practices that I do with my clients help to do this.  Anything that you can think of that you find “relaxing” is triggering your PNS.  It is triggering a different physiological state in every cell of your body.  Massage, a gentle yoga practice, acupuncture treatment, breathing exercises, sitting in the sun with a good book while listening to the birds, walking on the beach will all do it.  

These things do A LOT more than just “relax” you.  Any time your body shifts into the parasympathetic mode you are experiencing a whole different chemical, physiological reality in your body.  Relaxation is not a “state of mind”.  It is a “state of body”.  And in this state your body can do the important work that has to happen while you are not running away from bears.  

It allows you to digest food and eliminate waste, to slow your body down and sleep deeply, to heal any wounds that you have, to fight off infection, to regulate your breathing.  Just a few important things.  

Getting yourself into this parasympathetic state is crucial for your overall well being and ability to go forward in your infertility journey feeling replenished and calm.

So the next time someone tells you to “Just Relax”  at least you will know what is really meant by this!